From This Day Forward
by Empathist
Summary: Brendan and Ste. One-shot. This story is set a few hours after Doing It Again, so if you don't want to know how Doing It Again ends, don't read this one..! Originally written for Tessa's birthday xx


_**Note**_ I just wanted to mention (in the light of current storylines) that the 'canon' for this story is Doing It Again, rather than events in the show since Brendan left. So, for example, Brendan and Ste both went and got tested in a sexual health clinic in Doing It Again and both came back negative, which is why there's no mention of condoms here. They know they're safe together.

* * *

><p><span><em>Sunday 10 January 2016. Morning.<em>

When you wake up and you're not in your own bed, you know it's not your own bed before you even open your eyes. Even before you remember where you are.

That's what it was like that morning. I mean, one way I knew it wasn't our bed was because ours is lumpy and it's got this dip in the middle where we've worn out the springs, but the one that morning was dead comfortable, and we were in the middle of it not because we'd, like, rolled into the dip but because that was where we wanted to be. And there were proper covers – a sheet and a cover on top of it, sort of heavy – and it all felt different except one thing didn't feel different, and that was Brendan. So that's why I didn't open my eyes straight away when it felt like I was in a different bed: because I knew everything was alright, because he was the same. He was warm, and he smelt a bit sweaty and a bit like sex, and I was lying under his arm with my head on his shoulder and I could hear him breathing. Or maybe I couldn't hear him breathing but I could feel his chest breathing.

And then I remembered where we were. We were in a hotel. We were in a _suite_ in a hotel. We were in a hotel because the day before, Brendan Brady had married me.

I smiled. I couldn't help it, I had this big grin on my face as soon as I remembered. Then I opened my eyes and looked at him. The cover wasn't covering him up completely, it came half way up his tummy and his chest wasn't covered up at all – he's not like me, he doesn't get cold – and I moved a bit so my hand rested on him where his heart is.

You don't notice when he's awake, but he's got long eyelashes.

He'd shaved on the day of the wedding, in the morning probably, because I remember at the registry office in the afternoon his stubble had started to show again; and by the time we'd went to bed it was proper stubbly, all scratchy and sharp. Lying there looking at him next morning, I knew his tache would feel soft though, and the shape of it how he had it nowadays like an upside-down U with them long side bits, meant that if I kissed him it would mostly be moustache that I felt, so I wouldn't get sandpapered too badly. Not that I'd mind if I did.

I think there was cum on it, just near the corner of his mouth.

I suddenly thought, it must be well late, because the sun was really bright coming in the window and it doesn't get like that first thing in the morning, not in January. I looked round to see if I could see the time anywhere, and there was a radio on the bedside table with a clock on it, and it said 10.17. So then I wondered about breakfast. I thought hotels probably stopped serving breakfasts by that time, and I was starving, and I knew Brendan would be too because he always is, specially when he's had loads of sex. (Which we had. Like, loads. It was our wedding night, and we'd had loads.) So anyway, I got up out of bed without waking him up, and I went into the other room – because it was a _suite_ we had, not just a bedroom – and I had a look at the thing that they'd left on the coffee table, like a brochure thing, and I found where it said about breakfast. I was right, we'd missed breakfast time in the dining room.

So then I phoned room service.

"Is it too late to have some breakfast in our room?" I said.

"No, sir. You can order from room service twenty-four hours a day. What would you like?"

"Can we have a full English, please? Twice. And, like, loads of toast."

"White or brown?"

"White. He likes white. And have you got seedless jam? Cos he... my _husband_ won't eat it if it's got bits in."

"I'll ask the kitchen. And tea or coffee?"

"We've got that in the room, in't we?"

"The coffee in the rooms is instant. Would you like a cafetiere?"

"Yes please."

"Anything else I can help you with, sir?"

"Erm... Yeah, how long's it gonna be? Cos my _husband_, he's still asleep, so I wanna give him time to wake up before it comes."

"When would be convenient?"

"Half hour?"

"Certainly sir. I just need your room number, please."

"I don't know." I didn't know what we'd done with the key card after Brendan carried me in last night. "It's, like... it's the honeymoon suite though."

I went red. I'm sure I did.

"No problem. We'll get that up to you in thirty minutes."

"Ta."

I felt a bit hot and bothered after that, so I went and had a shower. I couldn't work it at first, it was well complicated, not just a thing stuck on the taps like we've got at home, and even when I got it switched on the water was too cold. We didn't bother the night before, see, cos we came up to the room after our dinner and, you know, went straight to bed; so we never got around to trying the shower.

I nearly gave up and had a bath instead, and a bath might have been better anyway because it's more soothing when you've got aches and pains like I'd got. My back was hurting – the muscles in it – and my legs, or the joints, more like, where your legs bend up from your bum. Hip joints, I suppose you'd call them, and when you've spent ages sort of folded in half from the hip joints with a bloody great Irishman weighing you down, well, you're going to feel it the next day. But anyway, then the water got hot all of a sudden so I had my shower, and there was this dead posh shower gel and it smelt lush, and when I got out there were these creams and lotions, the same make – Joe something – and I went mad with it, got myself all moisturised, specially where I was a bit sore from his stubble, like in between my thighs.

He was just waking up when I went back into the room, just having a stretch, and it was like he did what I'd done, remembered where he was before he opened his eyes. I watched him. He reached out with his hand to find me, and when I wasn't there his eyes opened and he looked, and he saw me and I gave him a smile and jumped back onto the bed.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning."

"You had a shower?" He got hold of the front of my bathrobe to get me nearer, then he stroked my hair. "Hair's wet."

"I know. There's a hairdryer but there's no point, it can dry on its own. D'you like this?"

"The robe? Yeah. Almost as white as your teeth."

"There's one for you an' all, did you see? Dead fluffy."

"Come here."

The way he held the back of my neck – his fingers there, inside the collar of the robe – it made me shiver, and his mouth tasted of the champagne we had in bed in the night, plus he still tasted of me a bit. And it was a soft kiss, even though we did tongues. We just closed out eyes and kissed, and sometimes Brendan doesn't say what he's feeling, but lying there on that bed I felt so loved. So, so loved.

"Whoa," I said. "We can't, not now."

"What? Why not? I got conjugal rights now, ain't I."

"No, cos we got breakfast coming. I've ordered it. Room service."

"Oh yeah?"

"You hungry? I am."

"Always."

"It's gonna be here in a minute."

"I got time for a shower?"

"Yeah, go on. Want me to show you how it works?"

"I think I'll figure it out. Jesus, is that the time?"

"Yeah. Lazy, snoozing half the day."

"Didn't get much sleep last night, did I..."

"Funny, that."

"Not the night before, either, come to that," he said. "Not for the same reason though."

"Neither did I. I didn't like it, you not being there. And cos we'd had that... not _row_, but..."

"Tell me about it. I thought you weren't gonna..."

"You thought I weren't gonna turn up."

"Uhuh."

"You're an idiot."

"Congratulations, Mr Hay, you've married an idiot."

He kissed me again then he threw the cover back and stood up on the bed and stepped over me and off onto the floor, and I watched him walk over to the bathroom. He looked amazing, naked (obviously) with all them muscles, and shoulders as wide as the door.

I went through into the other room and got my phone out because there was something I wanted to do.

There was a knock on the door after a few minutes and I went and opened it, and it was a lady with the breakfast.

There was a bucket on her trolley with a bottle of champagne in it.

"Sorry, we never ordered that champagne," I said.

"I know, no. It's part of your booking, one bottle for the room for last night, one for this morning and another one with your dinner tonight. We had it ready for you in the breakfast room, but you didn't have breakfast so I've brought it up. There's orange juice here if you want to buck's fizz it."

Brendan came into the front room then. He was in the other fluffy white bath robe.

"Champagne?" he said.

"I never ordered it, Brendan, it come with our booking."

"So Cheryl asked for it? Her and Nathan?"

"Whoever booked and paid for the room," the waitress said, or whatever she was, and she put all the breakfast stuff on the table over by the window, laid it out all nice.

"We can buck's fizz it," I said to Brendan.

"Would you like me to open the champagne for you?" the waitress asked.

"We got that," Brendan said. "Thank you." And he smiled at her and she blushed, and he told her to hang on a sec and went and got some money and gave her a tip, and off she went. And then he said to me, "Shall we?" and we went and sat down.

"D'you wanna save the champagne for later? We've got coffee here, d'you want one? Here." I poured one for him and one for me. "There's cream, look. D'you want cream?"

"Thought I wasn't allowed to have cream, Steven. Case I get _tubby_."

"We're on honeymoon, in't we. You can have anything you want."

"That so?" He raised his eyebrow at me and I shook my head at him.

"Shut up and eat your brekkie."

We both got stuck in.

"You've got an appetite today," Brendan said when he'd finished his fry-up.

"I know, yeah. Well, when you think about it, we didn't have much yesterday, did we, not till we had dinner last night. I mean, I took the kids out for brunch, didn't I, but I didn't hardly eat anything, and then the last I had till our dinner was a bit of cake back at Amy's."

"Birthday cake?"

"Yeah. Just from a shop, but yeah, it was nice. I would'a brought a bit back for you, only I had enough to think about, didn't I."

"I don't like birthday cake anyways, so."

"It's just cake."

He poured himself some more coffee.

"So your birthday was okay?" he said.

"Not bad. I got married to this bloke I know. And he gave me this." I showed him the silver cuff on my wrist. "So yeah, I done alright, as it goes."

He reached across and wiped my mouth.

"Got egg down your chin," he said, and he licked it off his thumb, and then he was eyeing up my plate. "You gonna eat that?"

"No. I'm gonna have some toast though."

"Give it here, then."

I gave him my plate and he ate what I'd left, and then I got a bit of toast and tested the jam to see if it was seedless.

"It's seedless," I said to Brendan. "I made sure."

"You're good to me."

"Love you, don't I."

"You still gave me seedless jam when you loved someone else."

"Don't, Bren. Can we please not talk about... Anyway, I always loved you, didn't I, even when..."

"I always loved you too."

He was looking down at his plate when he said it, spreading butter on his bit of toast, and he kept on going over and over it with the knife, and I looked at his face and there were tears in his eyes, like he'd suddenly got all these feelings coming over him.

"We could go out today, I s'pose," I said, and I just started nattering, making out like I hadn't noticed anything. "Just round here, I mean, cos there's what d'you call them, _grounds to explore_, it said in the thing. Anyway we've got the whole day, there's no rush, except it gets dark early, dun't it, so if we're gonna go out we better not leave it too long. Actually it's cold out there, by the look of it, so maybe we could just..."

"Stay in."

"Yeah. I've got to phone the kids anyway, don't let me forget."

"I said I'd phone my lads too, so."

"But apart from that... Just us, Brendan, yeah?"

"Just us."

"And the room service lady."

He laughed at that, and we finished our toast.

:::::::

He was on the phone to one of his kids when I came back from the loo.

"Okay, son... Yeah, I'll call you. Or you call me... Okay. Love you. So long."

"They alright? Did you talk to them both?"

"Yeah. Yeah, both of them. Padraig didn't say much but, you know, he's... They're fine. Did I tell you they texted yesterday?"

"No, you never said. I got one off Declan an' all, same one he sent to you I think."

"Both of them though, just to say good luck, y'know, it was..."

"That's really nice, Brendan. Maybe they can come over sometime, come and visit. Cos I'm, like, their stepdad now, aren't I, and I hardly even know your Paddy."

"Can't see Eileen letting that happen."

"You never know. When she sees that you're settled, maybe she'll be a bit more, y'know..."

"That what we are? 'Settled'?"

"Does that sound really boring?"

"No. No, Steven, it sounds..."

I just went to him when he said that. Not for the words, because it was one of them times when he stops before he gets to the end of what he's saying and I've got to just guess what he means. No, I went to him because instead of the words he did this sort of crooked smile like his heart was busting and he was trying to hold it in. I went to him and we just hugged, and I was all squashed into his fluffy bathrobe, and we had bare feet and I was standing on his toes.

"You smell good," he said.

"It's the stuff in the bathroom, it's really nice. D'you think they sell it in shops?"

"Developing expensive tastes, are you? Gonna start costing me? Should'a stayed in a Travelodge or something, 'stead of a place like this."

"Oi, shut up." We had a bit of a kiss, then I said, "I better give Leah and Lucas a ring. I know I phoned them last night before we had dinner, but I promised I'd phone them again today."

"Okay. Open the champagne, will I, while you're calling them?"

"Yeah, go on then. Did you hear the room service lady say, there's another bottle of champagne that Cheryl's paid for, for tonight?"

"Wow. We better get a move on with this one, then."

I sat down on the couch and rang Amy's number. I was quite glad when Leah answered, because I didn't really want to hear Amy pretending she was happy for me when I knew she wasn't really.

"Daddy! Are you still on honeymoon?"

"What d'you mean, 'still'? We only got married yesterday."

She laughed and she said, "Oh yes. Are you having a nice time?"

"We're having a very nice time, Leah." I looked at Brendan and he winked at me. "Daddy Brendan's just opening a bottle of champagne, so if you hear a pop, that's what it is, okay?"

It popped, and he poured it out.

"Can I talk to Daddy Brendan?"

"Course you can. Hang on." I got up and went over to Brendan. "Here, Leah wants to say hello."

"Alright, princess?" He listened for a bit then he said, "We're coming home tomorrow, Leah. So we'll see you next weekend, same as usual... Dunno, I think it's... yeah, six more sleeps till we see you. One more sleep here for us, then we'll be back home. Okay?"

I held up the jug of orange juice and mouthed the words, "Want this?" and Brendan nodded, so I topped up the glasses of champagne with it. He carried on talking to Leah, then Lucas must have come on because then Brendan started talking about football. I could tell he was busking it – he's even more clueless than me. And then he gave my phone back to me, and I had a chat with Lucas too. Well, I say chat, but it didn't last long. He just asked me who would win a fight between the Hulk and Spider Man, and then before I could decide, he said "Got to go okay bye," and that was it.

"Alright?" Brendan said.

"Yeah."

"Here. Sláinte."

"Cheers." I had a few sips. "This is nice, this, innit. Champagne's good, I never even had a headache this morning, did you? And we had quite a lot last night when you think about it."

"Nope, no headache."

"I never even felt drunk, just a bit sort of..."

"Happy."

"I'm happy anyway. Didn't need champagne for that."

"Even though you're married to a moody bastard, no?"

"Even though we had a fight outside the registry office, and it was pissing with rain, and I was in me trackies instead of in me suit. Yeah, I'm happy."

"Come to bed."

"Okay," I said, and he smiled at how quick I'd said it.

Then he said, "Bring the champagne."

"Okay."

And then there was a knock on the door, and we looked at each other, and Brendan went and opened it.

"Chambermaid," I heard her say from outside the door. "Clean the room and make the bed please?"

"That's okay," said Brendan. "We're... It's okay, you can leave it for now."

"I come back later?"

I went over.

"Can you do it when we've gone down for dinner, or is that too late?" I said.

"If you have first dinner, six thirty, we can come then. Not after that, we go home, yes?"

"Okay," Brendan said, "Six thirty."

He put the _Do Not Disturb_ sign on the door before he shut it this time.

"We've not got dinner booked for tonight yet, have we?" I asked him.

"Not yet. Why'd you tell her to come back? Could'a done without the room being cleaned, we're checking out in the morning."

"I know, but... it's them sheets. Cos they won't just make the bed, will they, they'll put new sheets on, and it's like... it's gonna be all fresh and clean and – "

"Like you."

And then his tongue was in my mouth, and I hugged my arms around his neck, and then he was untying the belt of my bathrobe, so I dropped my hands to my sides again so he could slide it off me onto the floor. And then he backed me into the bedroom and I fell backwards onto the bed.

Then he said, "Forgot," and off he went and got the bucket with the champagne bottle in it, and he put the bucket down on the side and got the bottle out and took a swig of it, stood there by the side of the bed, and I stuck my foot out and rubbed my toes over the bump in his robe where his dick was. It took him by surprise and his mouthful of champagne spat out of his mouth, and I laughed.

"Give us some, then," I said, and I sat up and he gave me the bottle, and while I was necking it he took off his robe, then he took the bottle off me and got on the bed on top of me, and when he kissed me I grabbed his dick because I knew my hands were wet and cold from holding the bottle, and so when I grabbed him he said, "Oh, Jesus," and I laughed and he sort of did an imitation of how I laugh, and he got me by the wrists to stop me touching him no more. So I struggled and he held me down, and I got, you know... Because I like it, that feeling, knowing he's so strong he could do anything, but knowing he won't do anything I don't want, because he just wouldn't. Sexually, I mean. He never did, and he never will, so it's like, he's Brendan Brady, but I'm safe.

"Are you gonna behave?" he said, and I nodded my head and he kissed me, and he said, "Are you gonna turn over?"

"You'll have to let go of me first."

So he let go and I rolled over, and then there was this crunching noise and by the time I realised it was the noise of him getting a handful of ice out of the ice bucket, it was too late and he was putting it on my back.

I screamed – like, proper screamed – and I shook it off me, so then there was ice everywhere all over the bed, and he was just laughing, and then we started scrapping, picking up the bits of ice and chasing each other with it, and the bed was massive so we had loads of room. Wrestling, we were. Ice-wrestling.

We ended up all tangled up with each other in the middle, out of breath from laughing so much.

"No more ice," I said when I could talk again. "Okay?"

"Okay."

So then I lay face down on top of the covers and he kissed between my shoulders and then he started licking down my backbone. I shut my eyes. I could feel him breathing, like steam on my skin, and then he held my bum, one hand each side and sort of squeezed. And I could feel his breath in between, and his moustache all soft, and his chin all rough, and his tongue going like he couldn't get enough, like he was starving and I was his food. I had to bite the pillow: I didn't know if we had neighbours, but if we did I reckoned they'd had enough of our noise.

I came just from that. Just from him doing that, like, right there on top of that posh quilt. I just couldn't help it.

"So I guess you liked that, then," he said, and he slapped my bum. And he sat back on his heels and I crawled round and got my face in his lap and sucked him. He kind of cuddled me while I did it, stroked my hair and rubbed my back and that, and his stomach was all warm. I pushed my head against it, so I know, and I could feel the noises he was making like growling. He tasted all clean from his shower, and I loved – love – the feel of his dick, smooth and wide and so heavy it was like it was weighing down on my bottom jaw so I had to protect it from my teeth with my tongue. I was coming up for air, though, when he came, so it missed my mouth. He got some wipes (I'd packed them, wipes and lube, because I didn't think the hotel would have any) and he cleaned it off my chin, and then we both cleaned ourselves, kneeling there on that big bed.

I looked up and he was looking at me, and when he saw I'd clocked him he touched my face and looked at it – I watched his eyes, it was like he was inspecting me, my hair and my mouth and then my eyes, and I said, "What?" and he said, "Nothing," and he smiled.

"I love you," I said.

"That's just as well, Steven, cos you're stuck with me now."

"Shall we get under the covers? I know it's only the afternoon, but..."

"Yeah."

So we got in.

"We gonna phone about dinner, though, Brendan? See what time we're booked for?"

"Go on then."

"No, you do it." I picked the phone up off the bedside table – it was one of them old fashioned ones with a cord – and stretched it across me to him, then I dialled the number it said on it. Then I ducked out under the wire and got out of bed.

"Where you going?"

"Get our mobiles."

Then they must have answered because as I went off to the other room and came back again he was saying, "Dinner reservations, yeah? Yeah, we need a reservation for tonight, for half six... Two of us... Yeah, it's Brady... Room number? I dunno." Then he said to me, "What's our room number?"

"Just tell them it's the honeymoon suite." I got back into bed.

"The..?" He cleared his throat then he said it so quiet I couldn't hardly hear him even though I was right next to him, "The honeymoon suite." And they must have not heard him either because he had to say it louder, "Honeymoon suite," and he was all Brendany, twitching and that, and it pissed me off to be honest.

"Embarrassed, are you?" I said, and I turned my back on him.

"Yeah, six thirty." He was still talking on the phone. "Cos my _husband_, he wants an early night, so."

I turned again and looked at him, and he shook his head at me and reached over me to hang the phone up, and I grabbed him and gave him the biggest kiss, then we lay back.

"Have you got any messages, Brendan?" I reached for our phones and passed his to him.

"Messages? I dunno."

"Have a look then."

"What..?"

"Go on, just have a look."

"Okay, okay. Yeah, I got a text from Chez... Says she hopes we're liking the hotel."

"Ain't seen much of it."

"And she sends her love. You got any?"

"I've got one from Ames, yeah, she's sent a photo of the kids. Look, they've done a picture of us, they're holding it up."

"Holding hands, is that?"

"Yeah. They got good imaginations, obviously."

"Come on, Steven, I've married you for fucksake, is that not enough of a PDA?"

"I didn't mean anything." I kissed his neck. "And I got a text off me sisters. That's all."

There was a text from my dad as well, but I didn't tell Brendan that.

"That's all I got, anyways," he said.

"What about emails? You got any emails?"

"Emails are never anything. They can wait."

"No, have a look."

"What's got into you?"

"Just look."

"Jesus. Okay... Okay, they're all just... This one from you? _Morning I love you_."

"Look at the address though. The email address, look what it is."

"Steven _Brady_ Hay," he read out, "At gmail dot com. This you?"

"Course it's me, you muppet."

"Since when?"

"Since this morning. I made it when you was in the shower. I just..."

I felt a bit stupid now he'd seen it.

"Steven Brady Hay, is it? That's..." And then he held me so tight I couldn't breathe, and I didn't feel stupid any more.

:::::::

I woke up and it was dark.

"Is it morning?" I said to Brendan. He was standing by the bed, I could see the white of his bathrobe.

"No, Steven, you ain't missed a whole night. It's still the afternoon, coming up to half five. Getting ready for dinner, yeah?"

"Yeah." I got out of bed and he must have been to get my robe, because he held it out for me to put on. "I must'a been tired, going to sleep in the daytime like that."

"Must'a been." He switched on the light.

"What you gonna wear? We don't have to dress up, do we? Were there people last night that weren't in suits?"

"Dunno... Didn't notice anyone else."

"Maybe it says in the thing." I went off to the other room and looked at the brochure, and found the page about the restaurant. "Here, it says, _We want our guests to feel com_... _comfortable, so we don't re_... something... _Request_?" I showed it to Brendan.

"_Require_."

"_We don't require that gentlemen wear ties. All we ask is that you require_... No. You read it."

"_All we ask is that you respect your fellow diners' sense of occasion and dress accordingly_... Blah blah... Here you go, no shorts and no sportswear. That's tragic, Steven: you can't wear your trackies."

"Shut up."

"Dunno why they ain't good enough to go to dinner in, if they were good enough to get married in."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn'a worn them to the wedding, would I, if I hadn'a got held up coming back from Amy's. Anyway. So what are you gonna wear?"

"Ain't brought much with me. Wear my suit again, I guess? It's been hanging up – well, since I picked it up off'a the floor this morning – so it don't look too bad. Different shirt, obviously. You don't wanna dress up though, no?"

"I weren't going to, but if you are..."

"You don't have to. You can wear what you want, Steven."

"Then again, if I don't wear it tonight, I don't know when I'm gonna get the chance to wear it again, cos it's not the sort'a suit you'd wear just for going for a pint and that."

"That's the only kinda date you're envisioning, is it, now we're married? A pint in a pub?"

"I dunno. We've never done much dating as it is, have we."

"You'll get another chance to put your glad rags on, Steven, okay?"

"But would you like me to wear it tonight?"

He didn't say yes. He just smiled and kissed me.

:::::::

We got ourselves sorted, tidied the rooms up a bit. We tried to hide the messiest bits of the sheets – I think we were both hoping the people doing the room would just bundle them up and throw them in the laundry without looking. Then we started getting dressed.

"New boxers?" Brendan asked me.

"Yeah, d'you like them?"

"I like them."

"Yours new an' all?"

"Yep."

"I like them."

When we were both dressed I was stood at the mirror in the bedroom doing my hair, and Brendan took a photo.

"You're skinny as fuck in that suit."

"Let's see then."

He showed me on his phone. He was right, I did look skinny but the suit looked nice, I'd only seen it from the front before but you could see the back and the front in the picture because Brendan was behind me when he took it, and you could see me and my reflection.

"Looks like it was made for you," he said, and it was true.

"Come on then, let's do a selfie."

"What? No."

"Go on. Just one."

He sort of rolled his eyes, but then he put his arm round my shoulders and held up his phone. I was going to squeeze his bum to get a smile out of him because he doesn't really smile in photos, but when I looked at the screen he was already smiling. I gave his bum a squeeze anyway though, and he gave me a kiss.

We had a bit of time left so we poured out the last of the champagne, and Brendan opened the long windows in the bedroom to let some air in, and it was freezing cold but we stood out on the little bit of balcony while we had our drink.

Brendan looked at his watch.

"Just gone twenty-four hours we been married now."

It was dark but they had lights lighting up this fountain in the middle of the grass in front, and the trees over the far side were lit up too.

"It's lovely, this," I said.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

I looked up at Brendan, and he was looking at me.

:::::::

We stopped in the bar for a drink before dinner. It was busy – I was surprised because it was only early, but the barman said a lot of them were stragglers from a late Sunday lunch, or they'd been out for the day and come back wanting a few drinks to warm them up. Anyway it was nice, it felt all friendly and we even got chatting with a couple of people, which shows how relaxed Brendan was because he's not sociable, usually, and he doesn't really like people.

When we went in for our dinner we had the same table we'd had on the first night. We both had the Sunday roast, and they had that bottle of champagne waiting for us but I'd had enough booze for a bit, so I had a coke and Brendan had a glass of red.

"D'you know what I wish?" I said to him when I put my knife and fork down.

"You probably wish a lot of things, Steven. I know I do."

"No, don't be going all gloomy on me, Brendan."

"Sorry. What do you wish?"

"Dun't matter anyway."

"No, tell me. Tell me what you were gonna say."

"It was just... I wish last night had'a been your _only_ wedding night. Like, I never had a wedding night with Doug, did I, cos of what happened. But you did with your Eileen, and I just wish..."

"I didn't, though, Steven. It was... It wasn't like that."

"How d'you mean?"

"Y'know, I thought it was gonna fix me, stop me getting _thoughts_ about... I thought going through with it, making vows before God, I thought there'd be some kinda..."

"You actually thought God was gonna make you straight on your wedding day?"

"I didn't even think I was gay, did I, I just thought I was a fucking... fuck-up. A freak. So yeah, I guess I thought getting married was gonna straighten me out. So to speak. More hope than expectation, but... Anyways, I knew I was lying to the priest, to Eileen, to... So I spent most of the reception getting pissed, and avoiding Eileen – least, as soon as we'd had the first dance."

"Bren, you don't have to – "

He shook his head.

"It's okay, I... I want you to know. So by the time the party was over and we walked over the road from the hall to this wee hotel Eileen's folks had booked us into, I could barely make it up the stairs without falling over. And she was stone-cold sober. Pregnant, wasn't she, so. So you can imagine how she would'a reacted if I'd tried it on... Which I didn't, obviously, cos that was the whole point of why I got hammered, wasn't it. It was all rows and getting pissed and pissing off out'a town, Steven, that's what that marriage was to me. Okay? But this... This, it's something else, yeah? Ain't even in the same universe." He finished his glass of wine, and frowned at me, and it felt like he'd come back from somewhere. "Why was I talking about..? Oh yeah, wedding nights. First one for both of us, last night. The _only_ one for both of us. I guess you got your wish."

"All of them, Brendan. I've got all of my wishes."

He didn't say anything for a minute – neither did I – and then he said, "See if we can get that champagne now, yeah?"

"Yeah."

:::::::

It wasn't even half eight when we got back to our suite, but it felt later. First thing I did was go and check the bed.

"They've done the sheets, they're all new," I said to Brendan when I came back into the lounge bit.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You gonna find a film, then?" We'd already decided we were going to watch telly before bed, because we'd got most of the bottle of champagne left plus they'd given us a box of chocolates because they do that when you're _newlyweds_. "Or do you wanna get your shower first and I'll find a film? You're not gonna sit here in your suit anyway, are you."

"You go first. I'll find a film. Go on, go get your shower."

"I know you, you just wanna choose something _you_ want to see." I smiled at him and kissed him, and he patted my bum as I walked away.

I brushed my teeth and showered, and after the shower I used the body lotion again, like, everywhere, even on my feet. And then I put a bathrobe on, and went to see what he was up to.

"Couldn't find a film," he said. "See if there's one you fancy." And he went off to the bathroom.

I stood in front of the telly flicking through the planner, but in the end I just put a channel on that was showing old sitcoms and left it, and went to the bedroom. I dug into my bag and got out my pyjamas. They were new, I'd bought them specially. They weren't anything special but they were nice, they were a sort of tartan, except tartan's all red and black, isn't it – at least that's what Leah's tartan skirt is like – but these pyjamas were light grey and white, and they were soft. So I put them on and went back to the lounge and put the bottle and glasses on the little coffee table in front of the couch, and opened the box of chocolates.

I heard Brendan go out of the bathroom into the bedroom, and a minute later he came in.

"I couldn't find a film either," I said.

He came over.

"Pyjamas?"

"Pyjamas. Don't you like them?"

He smiled at me with his eyes, and he sat down next to me and poured us a drink and passed me my glass, then he leaned back and put his arm along the back of the couch behind me. We clinked glasses.

I put my glass down and picked up the chocolates. They didn't have normal names though, so I had to try them to see what they were, and give them to Brendan if they turned out to be ones I didn't like.

"Do I get to pick one, or am I just getting the ones with a bite taken out of them?" he said.

I laughed, and cuddled up.

"It's funny, I never brought my trackies but you brought yours," I said, because he'd put on trackie bottoms and a T-shirt after his shower.

"Cos they got a gym here, ain't they. Thought I might'a given it a go, but..."

"You thought you was gonna bugger off to the gym on our honeymoon?"

"Yep, just if I got bored or..."

"Brendan!" I looked at him, and then I realised he was winding me up. "Oh, right, very funny. So why did you bring your trackies then?"

"For this, you idiot. Y'know, for just..."

"Slobbing out with me."

"One way of putting it. Maybe I should'a got me some PJs like you."

"Nah, you're alright. Can't really see you in pyjamas."

Then he unbuttoned my top, and he stroked and scratched my belly while we sat watching repeats on the telly, like you would if you had a cat on your lap.

:::::::

I sat cross-legged on the bed, waiting for him to come back from brushing the chocolate off his teeth.

"Wish we had a bed like this," I said when he came in.

"King size, you mean? Or d'you mean one where the springs ain't broken?"

"Both."

"If it's what you want, Steven, we'll do it."

"Probably wouldn't even fit it in the room though."

"We'll do it." He took off his T-shirt and knelt on the bed and kissed me, and pushed my pyjama top off me and kissed my shoulder. "Get in bed, yeah?"

"Yeah."

We both got off the bed and I pulled the cover back ready to get in. He stroked my bum over my pyjama bottoms.

"Commando?" he said.

I answered him by pushing them down, then I stepped out of them and got into bed. He stripped off and got in with me. I was quite sleepy, and I think he was too from the way he looked when we were lying facing each other.

I kissed him. He stroked my face.

"Tell me what it says again in here," I said, and I showed him my silver cuff.

"You know what it says. I told you what it says."

"Tell me again though."

"It means I'll love you for ever. Okay?"

"No, I mean, what does it actually say? You know, the actual words."

"It says, __Stiofán___ – _"_  
><em>

"I like that."

"It says, __Beidh grá agam daoibh go deo__. Happy now?"

"That sounds dead sexy."

"Does it?"

"Mm, yeah." I waited for a kiss and I got one (or a mouthful of tache, more like) then I said, "Can you actually talk that language, like, properly? You can, can't you, cos I've heard you before."

"Kinda, I guess. I'd be rusty now. Used to speak it, though, cos my ma, she used to speak it with her mammy and her sister, so I picked it up, y'know, like kids do."

"You've got an auntie and a... another nan?"

"Uhuh. Think so anyways, unless they've... No, I would'a heard about it if they'd died or... Dunno how, but I think I would'a heard. I thought my ma's ma was old, but you do, don't you, when you're a kid, you think anyone over forty's Methuselah."

"What's that?"

"Just saying, she might not'a been as old as I thought she was, so she's likely still around."

"When did you last see them?" I stroked his arm while we were talking. I didn't know about any of this, and I didn't know if it was going to make him upset or angry or anything, because you can never tell with Brendan.

"They moved away when I was a kid, away over to the west coast – that's the other side of Ireland – but we used to... My ma, sometimes she used to pack us up, just me and her, y'know, get the train across the country to see them. Then when she got ill they came back to be with her, take care of her, then... After the funeral, that's the last time I saw them."

"I'm really sorry, Brendan."

"Sh, don't be. It's..."

I kissed his lips and his face, and the palm of his hand, and I said, "I really love you."

"I really love you too." He held my wrist where the bracelet was and he said, "Never could write it, the Gaelic. Had to look it up when I wanted to get this engraved; make sure I got it right."

"I've only got your word for it that it means what you say it means. Might say something else for all I know."

"Like what?"

"I dunno. 'Property of Brendan Brady'."

"Yeah, maybe that's what it says."

He reached his arm around me to pull me closer, and we kissed, and then we lay there for a bit, thinking. I was thinking, anyway. I was thinking, there were ways that I hardly knew him at all, and most likely there were things I'd wish I didn't know if I ever found them out, but in the end it wouldn't matter because we were part of each other; and all the things I did when he was gone, I only did them because half of me was gone, and how can half a person know how to live?

I expect he was thinking too.

"You okay, Steven?"

I felt for his dick and I held it. It felt thick and full. I'd thought I might not want to do it because I was still a bit sore from all the things we did on our wedding night, but once I'd got it in my hand and started imagining what it would feel like inside me, I wanted it.

I got onto my knees over him, and he rolled onto his back between my legs, and I sat down on his stomach. He played with me. I looked down at his hands, and the way he was touching me was like he knew exactly what to do, and I thought, _Property of Brendan Brady_. Then I had to get off and go and find the lube because we'd hidden it so the chambermaid wouldn't see it when she came in to make the bed.

I looked out of the window while I was up.

"It's weird being in the country, innit," I said. "It's like there's more sky."

"The dark and the endless sky."

"What?"

"Nothing. It's from a song, is all."

It was true though, looking up it did look endless. Only then there was a flash behind me and I looked round and Brendan had his phone in his hand because he'd taken a picture.

"Brendan! I've got nothing on."

"Yeah you have."

"What, this?" All I had on was my silver cuff bracelet.

"Yep." He was lying there looking dead pleased with himself.

I shook my head at him, then he kicked the cover off and I got back onto the bed – stood on it, stepped across him so I was standing with one foot each side of him. I would have hit my head on the ceiling if I'd tried that at home. I squirted out a load of lube and spread it on me. He likes watching my face when I do that, and I could see he liked it by the way he was getting stiffer.

I squatted down and then he helped, he felt under me and got me in the right place, and I felt the tip of his thing, like, squeezing into me, and I moved up and down so he slid in a little way. I was panting. I thought about all the other times I'd had him inside me, just so my body would remember it could take him, and then it did and I didn't have to think about anything any more. I just leaned my hands flat on his chest, and he got hold of my arms. I was sliding and bumping on top of him, and I kept going for ages. My thighs were hurting and I was burning but I didn't care. Why would I care?

I knew he was going to come from the way he stared at me and his head went back on the pillow. He made this noise like an animal – it must have been loud because I was screaming out, and I heard it over that – and the whole bed shook, and I almost jumped off him from the shock of the shaking and the noise. And the feeling as he came out of me made me come too. I came on his chest, and he finished me off with his hand. Then I sort of collapsed on top of him and he wrapped his arms round me and held me still and gave me a love bite on my collar bone, slowly.

Then we just lay there in that bed, all sticky, kissing and kissing.

:::::::

We phoned for room service breakfast again next morning, a bit earlier than we'd had it on Sunday because we had to check out by eleven.

While we were waiting for them to bring it we were in the bathroom getting ready. He was standing at the mirror doing his hair.

"Shift over, Brendan."

"What? You've done your hair."

"I know, but I wanna see my face."

"Narcissus, are you?"

He moved over anyway.

"Look, see, I've got a rash. D'you think everyone'll notice?"

"Who's 'everyone'? The girl that brings the breakfast and the girl at reception? After that we'll just be in the car, won't we. Anyhow, you ain't gonna be the first honeymooner they've seen with stubble rash." He looked at me in the mirror. "Put some cream on it, Steven, nobody's gonna notice."

I got some of the posh cream on my finger and rubbed it in where my skin was red.

"Are we allowed to take this with us, this cream and all the shower stuff and shampoos and..?" I looked to see what else was on the shelf. "I bet everyone takes it. I'm gonna stick it all in me bag."

"That cream helping, is it? Soothing it, yeah?"

"Think so. I never got like this before you shaved your beard off, did I."

"Before _you_ shaved it off, you mean. You want me to grow it back?"

"Maybe."

"Poor wee delicate – "

"Shut up." I elbowed him in the ribs and he got me in a bear hug. I could feel his laugh rumbling in his chest.

:::::::

He slowed the car down when we were pulling away from the hotel so we could see it in daylight for the first time.

It was cold but there was bright sunshine coming in through the windscreen. I looked at the lines around Brendan's eyes and the white hairs in his moustache, and I loved him more than ever.

"Sorry it's over?" he asked me.

"It's not over, though, is it, Bren. Cos you and me, we're just getting started."


End file.
